I'm not going to lie.  I have been struggling with this post since I got back from the conference.  And that's not to say that I don't have, well, a lot to say about it.  Believe me.  If you know me in my personal life and you've asked about it, I've told you.  And if you haven't asked, I have most likely felt called to share with you something from one of the talks that I have found so helpful and that I hope to pass on.

Here's the thing.  I was hesitant.  My sister invited my mom, sister-in-law and I on this trip and the first reason I said yes was because Austin. aka BBQ and tacos and all that good stuff.  I didn't know anything about Edel and had only just heard of Jennifer Fulwiler through my mom and sister.  I was in for the weekend of what seems to be a lifetime.  Because during the weekend, while I really enjoyed myself for a number of reasons I wasn't aware of the lasting effects it was going to have on my day to day life.

I wanted to post about a breakdown of what/who Edel is and how the conference started a few years ago and the talks in great detail, but my heart couldn't do it.  And that has nothing to do with the amount I got out of it.  That is immeasurable.

Because what I really want to say is that if you are on the fence, if you shy away from maybe talking about your faith in some situations or on your blog (I've been there), if you feel like your faith isn't where you want it to be or is in a "working out" phase (see my faith is getting stronger but lasting progress takes time), you should go.  If you are overwhelmed by a room full of women that seem to all already know each other, if you and your own tribe walk in and try and get each other to go make new friends, if you want to win the shoe contest so badly, you should go.  If you are strong in your faith and want to share it, if you are looking for a group of women in a similar situation as you, if you are 28 and married and don't have multiple children yet, you should go.  If you don't think there will be a single person there that also has a tattoo, or their nose pierced, you should go.

Are you seeing the theme here?  You should go. Let me tell you about how I have been feeling.  As you know if you read almost any of my posts, I suffer from pretty significant anxiety.  And it effects everything from tackling apartment projects to keeping plans I've made with friends.  And I noticed that when I got back from Edel, these things that have seemed so big and have, for no reason other than my anxiety, felt heavy on my head and my heart, seemed a lot smaller.  This past week I accomplished more emotionally, personally, and in the apartment than I have in months.  I have this sense of peace in my heart and in my head that I have not had in such a long time, maybe ever.  And it is worth it's weight in gold.  Christina, over at The Evangelista gave a talk entitled The Waiting is the Cross that not only helped in the overwhelming desire I have to be a mother asap but also helped me realize that I have created an idol out of what a perfect marriage and wife should be.  And even though it will take more than this realization to really help in my desire to be a perfect wife (speaking of, went to a new therapist today!), this has helped me so much.  And in an alternate universe, I wish Christina and I could be the best of friends (because we totally would be). 

I am also really looking forward to learning about my Charisms (which was the focus of another talk), but just really felt that I needed to share this today!  Please read her talk!  Everyone I know could benefit from the read.  And you should also all be at #edel18 if you are a Catholic woman who is looking for her tribe, too!


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